Facebook threw a fit

So I tried to upload this but Facebook’s complex image filter algorithms decided it wasn’t a chocolate Santa but something much more devious. So much so that I was logged out and had to log in again.

On logging in I was told I had to prove myself as human so captcha image was completed and then I had to prove myself as Jim so I had to identify ten photo’s of people on my friends list (some were baby photo’s and I had no idea).

Then it sent me on a quest to snatch the holy grail carved by the hands of Jesus from the jaws of a 20 foot long hungry alligator before swimming the length of the Amazon river blindfolded. Don’t get me started on the half mile walk over hot coals I had to complete (too much Facebook, why can’t you believe I’m Jim, I know his password).

Just to make sure I’d not made a mistake I opened the photo in Photoshop, saved it as the most basic .JPG file type I could muster and re-uploaded it to ensure I wasn’t making things up. I was automatically logged out again. I had to put in my mobile number, receive a text message verification code to get into my account and read some spiel about community guidelines for what you can and can’t share on Facebook.  What? It’s a chocolate Santa…

Anyway, here’s the image I tried (and was not allowed) to upload on Facebook indicating that some poor programmer at Facebook HQ had the job of building a program that makes sure you don’t upload cock pics to Facebook. What a job. Suddenly mine doesn’t seem to bad….

Happy Xmas All



Terminator Reboot?

Terminator is being remade. Young, attractive cast being assembled, leading lady without dodgy 80’s perm playing Sarah Connor, special effects systems being upgraded, big headline making budget being saved up in Hollywoods piggybanks, all that stuff. Bit of a shame really. As a teenager I read the Terminator comics and they were awesome, expanding on the universe laid out in the first two films, there were a whole slew of interesting stories that kicked ass. Some stories were better than the films. A variety of different characters introduced. There was one about a different Sarah Connor (on her honeymoon with her husband John) and the time travelling soldier from the future come hobo sent to protector her called “One Shot” which was awesome. A story of a whole squad of marines firing themselves from the future into the 90’s to fight other Terminators and dodgy haircuts in the war against the machines. Why is it, with a whole wealth of other stories already written (seriously, some of them were awesome) are they remaking the same story again (like they did with Men In Black two times) when they could expand on the idea and create something new and more exciting?

What about a narcissistic lesbian who travels back in time and gets romantic with herself? *receives note* Oh, it’s a family feature? What the? The original Terminator was an 18 cert horror movie.  OK then, how about a Terminator sent back in time to kill George Michael before he records Last Christmas by Wham  *is passed other note* Ok fine, George MIchael wasn’t part of the Terminator cannon and he did record some pretty good songs AFTER Last Christmas..

At the very least they could try to tone down the hype so the surprise isn’t ruined, if you went into T2 cold, i.e. not knowing Arnold was the good terminator this time it would’ve been really surprising. Like that twist halfway through District 9 you did not see coming (be honest, you were shocked too) but was still awesome. Every time I watch T2 I try to think about how I’d feel if I didn’t know the twist is that the bad guy from the last movie is the good guy in this one and it’s kinda ruined because they put it in the trailer, the main surprise was in the trailer, whole surprise ruined because we knew going in what the twist was. Hitchcock would be spinning in his grave. 

Why can’t they make something good (like T2) and keep a lid on the major surprises, like JJ Abrams pretends to but then doesn’t, but sorta does, but really doesn’t to the point where I want to send a robot into the past to kill him as a child for fucking up Star Trek so badly.